"My experience working with our Doula Sharea Jenkins.

Prior to having my first child, I was unaware of what it took to properly support my wife during her pregnancy. My natural instinct was to be a supportive husband who would do the necessary things to make my wife comfortable for 9 months. However, you don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t understand the nuances and the gravity of the journey we were undertaking and believe most men share in my sentiments. My perspective on motherhood completely changed after meeting with our Doula Sharea. My initial expectation from our first encounter was that I would be doing more listening while my wife and her discussed the process. I was wrong. I found myself engaged with questions, excitement and a desire to be hands on. Sharea found a way to involve me in the process without being pushy.  I felt empowered by her purposeful approach to help me understand how important and necessary my role would be and that was enlightening. Whether it was providing instruction on how to properly massage my wife, to learning how to latch correctly so that I could assist by reinforcing, was paramount. I felt important every step of the way and that was key. I believe the instructions and honestly the genuine care from our doula, allowed us to have a great experience. I am often reminded of her calm demeanor, how everything was “going to be ok” the encouragement, her being there at any moment and the attention to detail was beyond what I imagined. I liken my experience similar to a mother taking care of her newborn. A child who doesn’t know what to expect but has the comfort and nurturing of someone who cares and will do what is necessary to facilitate the best experience possible. The highlight of my experience was when I saw my son make his entrance. If not for her direction, I would have missed that priceless moment because I was attending to my wife. She calmly called me over to witness that moment and if she was not there by our side, I would have missed it. To know that you literally have a doula for life is amazing. She has been there even after my wife gave birth. Our son is now a year old and we can call her for advice and are met with the same grace, instruction and love similar to our very first encounter. We are VERY thankful!

I believe the challenge for most men is engagement. What to do, the feeling of being lost in a journey that we can honestly feel like spectators. This is not true at all, I learned that we have a huge role as men, a necessary role that goes beyond any stereotypical thoughts. What can get lost in the pregnancy journey for us is the huge mental challenges that are often overshadowed and understandably so because we do not have to bear the responsibility of carrying a child for 9 months. Giving attention to men’s mental health is very critical during this journey. Sharea I love that you’re making this a focal point. I believe most men are typically silent, this will help tremendously with engagement and will ultimately foster healthier relationships after pregnancy. BRAVO!

and thank you again…"

Shehu Tagoe